Scrabble’s Two Letter Words — Ox & Oy

Ox

Ox — A bullock. A castrated male cattle used as a beast of burden, though many farmhands insist that any cattle used for work, male or female, is an ox. A bull is any uncastrated male cattle. A steer is any castrated male cattle.

Castrating a bull when it is still an immature calf inhibits its production of testosterone. This makes the former bull docile, and more willing to learn orders such as move, stop, and turn right or left. Castration also makes a steer much larger than their bull counterpart.

Wait. That doesn’t sound right. Wouldn’t a lack of testosterone make a steer less powerful and smaller than a bull? Let me do some more research and… huh. No, I guess it’s not a confirmation bias among farmers. Castration makes a steer approximately 20% larger than the bull that sired it.

But its increased size doesn’t have anything to do with testosterone. The testes not only produces testosterone in males, but also estrogen. Estrogen is responsible for triggering the epiphyseal closure during puberty: a process in which cartilage between the bone ossifies, and the body stops growing. Without estrogen, the cartilage between the bones remains supple, and the bones continue to extend, resulting in elongated, more fragile bones, and a higher chance for osteoporosis.

Larger also doesn’t mean stronger. Estrogen might stop a bull’s growth when they reach maturity, but testosterone still contributes greatly to the creation of muscle mass. According to The Journal of Animal Science, bull carcass produces anywhere from 10 to 20 percent more meat compared to steer. That means oxen are not only 20% larger, but they have 15% less muscularity. Still not a good idea to let one step on your foot, though.

These effects aren’t only present in cattle, but also affect other mammals that have been castrated, or lost access to their sex glands in other ways. In fact, it’s a problem with animals that participate in high intensity sports. A dog who is castrated might be easier to train, but also more likely to break its bones when it takes a bad step in a run and falls over. Opinions on this vary, but some sports vets now suggest that if a dog is destined to participate in sports, that castration be postponed until the dog is two years old, past the point where epiphyseal closure has kicked in.

Oy

Oy — An exclamation of frustration or dismay, commonly employed by hapless Yiddish schmucks. Commonly paired with two other Yiddish words for ‘oy vey’ which directly translates to ‘woe woe’, but is closer in application to ‘oh dear’ in English. While ‘oy gevalt’ more literally means ‘woe authority’ or ‘woe power’, but is probably a better match for the English expression ‘oh God.’

A number of people will tell you that the interjection ‘oi’ is an alternate spelling of ‘oy.’ I contend it isn’t. ‘Oi’ is used to get someone’s attention, and is specifically directed at others. “Oi! You brought an ox into the pub!” Meanwhile, ‘oy’ is spoken to no one in particular, except for maybe god, fate, or oneself. “Oy! You brought an ox into the pub?”

While ‘oy’ might be a passive groan, Yiddish is full of all kinds of fun swears and oaths you can sling at shmegegges who, if they were twice as smart, would be idiots. The next time some pisher gets you all verklempt with their kvetches, tell them one of these:

Vaksn zolstu vi a tsibele mitn kop in dr’erd!
May you grow like an onion with your head in the ground!

Zoln dayne beyner zikh brekhn azoy oft vi di Aseres-Hadibres!
May your bones be broken as often as the Ten Commandments!

Dayn neshome zol arayngeyn in a kats un a hunt zol ir a bis ton!
May your soul enter a cat and may a dog bite it!

Ale tseyn zoln dir aroysfaln, nor eyner zol dir blaybn af tsonveytik!
May all your teeth fall out, except one to give you a toothache!

Loyfn zolstu in beys-hakise yede dray minut oder yede dray khadoshim!
May you run to the toilet every three minutes, or every three months!

A groys gesheft zol erhobn mit skhoyre: vos er hot zol men bay im nit fregn, un vos men fregt zol er nit hobn!
May he have a big store full of goods: may people not ask for what he has, and may he not have what they ask for!

Esn zolstu gehakte leber mit tsibeles, shmalts hering, yoykh mit k’neydlekh, karp mit khreyn, ayngedemfts mit tsimes, latkes, tey mit tsitrin, yedn tog – un zolst zikh mit yedn bis dershtikn!
May you eat chopped liver with onions, shmaltz herring, chicken soup with dumplings, baked carp with horseradish, braised meat with vegetable stew, latkes, tea with lemon, every day – and may you choke on every bite!