14 Ways To Find a Killer Dungeons and Dragons Game (or any other RPG, really)

A friend recently sent me this question:

Hey man, I’ve been having an RPG itch and I can’t seem to find games around [dilapidated factory purgatory, AKA my hometown]. Where do you usually find ones?

It’s a common problem among role-players as they age.  Kartok the Barbarian now wanders the streets of Portland in search of the riddle of java.  Mordenkainen the Wizard has a wife, four kids, and a magical watchdog to feed.  Peasebottom the Druid is no longer interested in anything save licking the cream centers of Oreos while zoning out to Adventure Time.  People’s priorities change.  Likewise, yours must change as well.  That doesn’t mean you need to stop role-playing, though.

If you got the D&D bug, and performing scenes in your basement by yourself won’t do, then you need to find or make a new group.  Here’s the good news: you got a lot of options.  With a little work, you’ll be sacrificing slices of pizza and cans of Mountain Dew to the gods of natural twenties in no time.

 

Get Over Yourself

I pulled this quote from an XKCD forum post:

“I want to play this game, but I have no idea how to approach someone and ask if they play it. It feels like I’m doing something worse than asking someone if they smoke pot. I can imagine people’s eye bulging and backhanding me for even mentioning it.”

The most common reason people don’t play Dungeons and Dragons is perception.  The game can’t shake the forty year old stigma that only weirdos and nerdzillas play.  But this stereotype doesn’t hold up when talking about whether people think the game itself is interesting.  An ongoing Escapist poll asked for people’s views and found that 64% of those polled thought D&D was “A fun game to play if you get past the stereotype.”  Another 23% of those polled either like the game or the stories the game creates, but not both.  Only 10% thought the game was “Too geeky to touch.”

Granted, Escapistmagazine.com readers may not make for the best participants, since they’re already a little nerdy.  The take away, however, is that if the people who play video games and watch anime don’t find D&D too geeky, then it isn’t.  Not really.  You won’t be run out of town by the jock police on a code red nerd alert for showing interest.  And most people who complain about nerdism are only upset when you won’t shut up about your hobby, in the same way that I’d be put off by a carpenter who couldn’t stop talking about wood (Maybe.  I mean, if they happen to be funny and relatable stories about some kickass birch, then I guess I’m down.)

Please, don’t let other people’s expectations prevent you from having fun.  Besides, if they were the kind of people who deride you for your interests, then those people aren’t your friends.  Live your life; don’t live the life other people want you to live because it matches their comfortably narrow definition of the world.

 

Buy a Starter Set

“Oh, no no no!” you say, “I’ve played Dungeons and Dragons for umpteen years.  Umpteen!  I own a small library, a sizable selection of minis and cool dice.  A Starter Set would be wasted on me.”

I know.  The box isn’t for you.  It’s a draw for anyone who might be interested in playing with you.

The biggest obstacle for new player acquisition is how much there is to learn.  The sheer depth of knowledge experienced players bring to the table is intimidating, sometimes to an extent that makes the game no fun.  The Starter Box cuts through that.  If you think a new player, or player who hasn’t played the game for a while may be interested, show them the box.  Let them pick through it.  Tell them everything one needs to know to play the game is in there.  It’s still a lot of information, but far more digestible.

Stick to the box until the players feel comfortable moving beyond it.  It might bore you, but this box is a life raft for players lost adrift the greatest sea of information written about any game, ever.  Be patient.  Gifted players aren’t discovered.  They’re made.

And compared to other products in the D&D library, the Starter Box is cheap.  You can buy a new copy on Amazon for $12.95 now.  That’s an amazing deal when you compare the price of Dungeons and Dragons to every other game, ever.

 

Ask Your Friends

This may seem obvious, but it’s surprising how often this step is skipped.  People think they know what their friends like and don’t like, so they don’t bother asking.  The flaw with outthinking your friends is that many people like role-playing for many different reasons, not just the reasons that you like the game.

The 4th edition DMG cites a eight distinct player archetypes, from thinkers to explorers, diplomats to murderers.  That said, the DMG is not the final word on player archetypes—this TV Tropes article attempts to categorize the archetypes pulled from a number of similar games.  Given the great variety of playstyle, almost every living human has a reason why they might enjoy Dungeons & Dragons.  You would probably prefer to spend more time with your friends, so give them a try first.  If they say ‘no’, then move on.  Wouldn’t it be great, though, if they said ‘yes’?

 

Ask Women

Speaking of stigmas… there’s an old adage that D&D is for boys and tomboys only.  It’s incredibly wrong.  According to PCGamer, 53.6% of all people who play role-playing games are women.  Granted, PCGamer is talking about video games, not tabletop rpgs which tend to play differently.  But if that many women are interested in the story elements of video games, then why would we assume that a social board game with a focus on story elements would be anathema to them?

White Dove posits an interesting theory.  According to her, Dungeons and Dragons history as springing from a miniatures wargame is where much of this confusion originates.  Considering that two-thirds of all first person shooter players are men, as long as the focus of a game centers on violence and strategic combat, it tends to attract men.  And unlike the anonymity that playing an FPS over the internet provides, lone females in a group of males during the more sexist 70s and 80s were often made uncomfortable targets.  Occasionally a rare group or woman would buck the trend, but it wasn’t the norm.

If you foster an environment that’s unwelcome to any one group of people, then you won’t attract them.  So be welcoming, and ask women if they would like to play.  There’s a great number of women out there who wanted to try the game for years, but were afraid of potential bullies.  Those are the type of enthusiastic people you want at your table.

 

Magically Ask Most Everyone You Know, Simultaneously, with a few Clicks of a Button

You spent the last seven years cultivating a list of ‘friends’ in a social network group who might be interested and/or able to help if you provide an easy problem to solve.  Take advantage of that.  Make a general post, but don’t drown people in the specifics.  Tell everyone you were thinking of pulling together a game and wanted to know if anyone is interested, or might know someone who is.  The more people in your network, the more likely that by next week you will find yourself knees deep in the Sewars of Sharn, listening to the chitter of dire rats lurking beyond the shadows.

 

 

Play D&D at a Friendly Local Game Store

Many stores dedicate a night to Dungeons & Dragons.  It’s an easy fix for a quick game.

But let’s say you don’t want to play D&D at a game store.  You want to play at a house, or a friend’s house—somewhere where the customers don’t keep bumping into you and looking over your shoulder, and somewhere where they don’t let just anybody jump in.  Then you should still consider playing at a local game store.  Why?  Because you’re recruiting.  Look for and identify other fun players who would also enjoy a game in the comfort of a someone’s house, then steal them from the store.

Unlike our previous options, you already know these people like to role-play so there’s no need to act coy.  Instead, give them specifics so they can visualize playing in your game.  “I wanted to run a Dark Sun campaign at my house on Sunday afternoons.”  Or maybe challenge them with an idea and see if they take the bait.  “I was thinking of starting a campaign in which every player is a Thief.  What do you think would make it work?”  Once they collaborate on the setting with you, they’re likely to be interested in how their ideas play out.

Keep in mind that you’re going for a cold open.  These people love to role-play, but may be comfortable doing what they’re doing where they always do it.  Give them an out if they don’t enjoy playing with you.  “I was planning on running a one shot adventure.  If people like it, though, I wouldn’t mind developing it further.”  Break their routine for a day, and you might gain a loyal player for life.

 

Don’t Play D&D at a Friendly Local Game Store

The stores in your area may not host D&D.  Or the people who play may be foolishly consistent hobgoblins of little minds who scare away normal players.  If that’s the case, see if the store hosts other games.  Because most people who play Friday Night Magic: the Gathering or swing by for board game night are prime candidates for an adventure.  Join them, play their game, and see if you can convert a few to your game.

Unfortunately, some of these players are hardcore about their game of choice.  It will prove difficult to convert a person with a 5,000 point Empire Warhammer Army to desert his men and join your ranks.  I suggest aiming for outsiders who are interested in the game they are playing, but wouldn’t mind trying another.  Magic: the Gathering pre-release and release parties are excellent for this.  Your local store may be flooded with players who want to see what the next set offers, but are unlikely to shell out good money after they ‘one and two’ a few drafts.   Maybe they like the fantasy elements and weird spells, but aren’t into constant competition.  That sounds like a good role-player to me.

 

It’s the Internet, Charlie Brown

There are numerous cites dedicated to discovering disparate dungeoneers and introducing them each other.  They operate like a sort of Dungeons and Dragons dating site.  Which doesn’t exist… yet.  (“Half-Orc Paladin looking for my Special Mount.  I am kind, sincere and fight to protect the realms from the dark overlord, Glogchnar.  You must be outgoing, drug-free and Lawful Good.  No munchkins, please.”)

The most obvious places to go with lots of players looking for games is ENWorld’s ‘Find a Game!’ Gamer Search Engine, Gaming Gatherings at RPG.net and the Sub-Reddit LFG.  Don’t forget that CTRL+F and the website search bar are your friends.  I would also consider taking advantage of Meetup.com.  Dungeons and Dragons meetups sometimes consist of individual groups, and sometimes consist of large organizations that can help redirect you to an open game in your area.  The core Boston Dungeons and Dragons Meetup Group, for example, boasts 1,313 members.  That’s a lot of players near me curious for additional dragon fodder.

 

Google It

Ah, what the heck.  While researching this article, I came acros a number of players who found their current game by searching Google for “D&D game looking for players in [insert city].”  It’s not the way I would go about doing things, but if it works, it works.

 

Check Out Your Local Convention Circuit

Like with game stores, these don’t need to be RPG conventions (though, that certainly doesn’t hurt.)  Any convention which draws out people’s inner geek should do.  Personally, I mean to check out the Steampunk World’s Fair in New Jersey someday.  Every cosplayer at that convention is already role-playing.  The crossover seems too obvious.

While there doesn’t appear to be a good master page for conventions in general, Game Convention Central is a good place to find gamer conventions in general.  Alternatively, Convention Scene is an interesting site, but they don’t sort conventions by location (yet.)  Feel free to Google conventions in your area.  A small board game convention may be exactly what you need, but if a comic book or anime convention is more your speed, go do that.

 

Get All Real in your Make Believe

Live Action Role-Playing, or LARPing, is not a fun evening of beer and pretzels around a table with your friends.  Instead, you need to make due with spending the evening bopping your friends over the head and shoulders with foam weapons.

Admittedly, LARPing may be the nerdiest thing you can do over the weekend.  Camp counselor at math camp has nothing on donning the garb of an elf dandy and parading your festooned pantaloons about a number of like-minded chaps, all while jockeying to be consort of the fairy queen.  That said, the excitement of thinking on your feet while engaging in an immersive adventure featuring a cast of hundreds is well worth being the butt of jokes at work the next day.

Personally speaking, I never got into LARPing.  But some of my fondest memories are built from the few adventures I did share.  For example, there was the time we pitted the entire monster camp, one hundred skeletons strong, against the town village in a torrential summertime downpour.  Or the time a clutch of friends and myself posed as goblins, and creeped under the shadow of a large pine tree at night, leaping out to assault lone wanderers who foolishly thought the road between the tavern and the inn in the middle of the village was safe.  Just the feeling of lying down on a grassy hill after a hard day of role-playing is lodged in my memory as a wonderful experience.

The great thing about most LARPs is that they are always looking for new players.  The more players, the deeper the story, the more immersive the atmosphere.  The LARP list makes it easy to find a game near you.  Joining a LARP can be as simple as skimming the rules and signing an online form.  And stealing a fellow LARPer for your personal game should be easy.  It’s hard not to make friends while LARPing.  When you’re forced to work together with a couple hedge wizards to return the crystal of Shamlaga to its proper place inside the World Tree in Deepest Forrest, and you find yourself trailed by a gnoll ambush team, you learn to make friends fast.

 

Post Flyers

This isn’t my preferred method.  It requires more work than posting in an on-line forum, and denies you the ability to mentally reject a candidate you met in a neutral location like a game store or a convention.  Granted, you can meet the candidate for coffee before introducing them to the guys/girls, but if the two of you don’t jive it makes rejection that much harsher.

Still, there are times when posting bills makes sense.  If you’re interested in meeting people in your immediate area, it’s an excellent choice.  If you go to college, or would like to meet neighbors in your apartment complex, or want to meet more people who frequent your local library or café, then go for it.  This page on How to Make an Awesome Flyer may be more than you need, but it sure will catch people’s attention.

 

Play by Video Chat

It will never replace hashing out a game with your friends over the kitchen table.  But play by video chat comes with considerable advantages.  You aren’t limited to people in your immediate area.  You can play with friends who live far away.  And when you’re done, there’s no mess to clean up.  If the game ends at 11:30 and you need to work in the morning, turn off the computer and go to sleep.

My own group includes a player who now lives seven hours away.   But he never lost contact, and when we get together for our regular game, we prop up an iPad so he can play via Skype.  It’s not the same as him being here, but it’s always great to see him at the table none the less.

If the point is to see and communicate with a person, then Skype is fine.  For multiple people communicating back and forth, I prefer Google Hangouts.  I don’t have the space to break it down here, but Phil Vecchione does a good job highlighting various Hangout functions for role-players.

For those Dungeon Master who are patient and want to work with player handouts and tactical maps, Roll20 provides.  It also includes a fog of war function, the ability to send secret messages, can roll dice in the chat box, and provides a network for you to find other players who use Roll20.  You don’t need to commit to Roll20, either.  For my own group, an upcoming adventure includes a complicated map.  I plan to use Roll20 so our friend can follow along and contribute.  Meanwhile, Skype will run in the background, and when we’re done with the map we can simplify and close Roll20.

 

Play by Post

Not my favorite option.  But for many, this is the best they can get.  If your work hours are crazy, or you live in a remote location with limited internet access, this may be your only choice.

That said, many people swear by Play by Forum.  They love writing.  They love the freedom of thinking and crafting a perfect response to the current situation.  They love posting on their own schedule.  They love that they can get in a little Dungeons and Dragons during their lunch break.  And they love the ability to pull people into elaborate side conversations.

I admit, I don’t know a lot about Play by Post.  I tried it in the 90s when Telnet and Bulletin Boards were a thing and never took to it.  If I was to get into it again, though, Ongoing Worlds looks like an excellent place to hang my hat.  That said, Ongoing Worlds rides heavy on collaborative storytelling, with nigh a die roll to be seen (which is one of reason why I’m guessing I’d prefer it.)  If you’re all about character sheets and strength checks though, don’t worry.  There are a lot of play by post websites out there.  While I’m deficient in this category, I feel this guide to PBP by Scott Sylvester should answer a number of questions you may have.

 

Be Open Minded

In your travels, you might find a group that plays Paranoia, or you might discover you really enjoy LARPing, or you might find a pack of writers who get together bi-monthly for a hike in the woods and read each other stories around a campfire.  These are good pastimes.  You should do these.  You may find that you enjoy drafting Magic: the Gathering, or the rock climbing Meetup group you accidentally stumbled across piques your interest more.  Great!  You found something you like!  Do that instead!

Dungeons and Dragons is an excellent pastime, but it shouldn’t be a job.  You should do it because you never did it before, or because you love doing it.  You shouldn’t do it if you’re filling some obligation to yourself, or because your friends expect you to be at the table, or because skipping a week would mean falling behind the other players in experience points and gold.  If the game is too stressful and you are not having fun, stop.  Life is too short to squander it on anything except for whatever makes you happiest.

 

Calculating XP

I think I was exhaustive, but there’s plenty more advice to give on gathering a great group of gamers.  If there are any additional ideas bouncing around in your noggin, feel free to jot it down in the comments.  I’m sure someone else will put your ideas to good use.

And, assuming you do find a group, here’s one last important piece of advice from Clockwork Monk from the XKCD forums:

“DO NOT TOUCH OTHER PLAYER’S DICE WITHOUT PERMISSION!”

Seems legit.  Until next time, slay the dragon, win the treasure and rescue the dullard in distress. Sleep well, adventurers.